


Still . . .

by ScarletWinter2478



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluffy/Smut, Language, Love, Romance, Sebastian Stan Fan-fic, break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 09:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13478343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletWinter2478/pseuds/ScarletWinter2478
Summary: Sebastian Stan, handsome, talented, wealthy, popular and not so perfect human being.  He fucked up, big time, and now he was paying the price.Sara Young, beautiful, talented, entrepreneur, perfectionist, making her mark in the world of fashion design. What more could she ask for?  How about a boyfriend that didn’t cheat on her?When the two of them had first met it was like worlds colliding; the mutual attraction was powerful and completely undeniable. Their passion burned amongst the brightest stars. But even stars don’t last forever and when the end comes, it comes in a wave of destruction.  But still… those feelings that had lifted them to those heights were nestled there in the rubble of their failed relationship.  All they had to do was piece it back together… and Sebastian had a plan.





	1. Prologue

 

                                                 _“If you’re searching for a quote that puts your feelings into words – you won’t find it._  
_You can learn every language and read every word ever written – but you’ll never find_  
_what’s in your heart._

_How can you?_

_**He** has it… _  "                 
                                                                              ~~ Ranata Suzuki ~~

 

Sara closed the book with a resounding thud. It took every ounce of strength that she possessed to restrain from throwing it across the room.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” Sabrina, her best friend, business partner and younger sister, took the book from her hand and placed it on the coffee table.

“No. I’m not thinking about him… why would I?”

Sabrina snorted, “Stop. You can’t lie to me; we both know it, so don’t even try.”

“Bri… please. Sebastian Stan is no longer a part of my life. End of story.”

“End of story, huh? So why the grumpy face? Why the tear filled eyes at the mention of his name? And WHY do you keep one of his dirty shirts…”

“STOP! Please… just stop.” Sara rose from her spot on the couch, wiping away a treacherous tear that had escaped to roll leisurely down her cheek as she moved to the kitchen to take a pain killer from the cupboard. Great, they hadn’t even left the apartment and her head was pounding…

“Sorry sis. You're right, sometimes I don’t know when to quit. Just don’t let him ruin your night, okay?”    
Sabrina gave her sister a hug then pinched her cheeks as the call button rang out. “Sounds like our ride is here!! Are you ready to hit The Club?”

Grabbing her bag from the table, Sara forced a smile, “I don’t know how ready I am, but I’m all in. Let’s do this!”

As they rode the elevator down to the lobby, she couldn’t deny herself one last, brief, consideration of Sebastian, wondering where he was and who he was with; never dreaming what this night would bring or how far it would take them.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Sebastian took another sip of his drink, swishing it around in his mouth, allowing it to roll over his tongue and down his throat with a grimace. The asshole sitting on the bar stool to his left had been hitting on him for the past twenty minutes. He was in such a dark mood, he didn’t want to move, but it seemed the only way he was going to be left alone tonight was to leave or punch this guy in the face; because clearly, he was not getting the message. Turning his body to the right, showing the man his back, he slowly scanned the club looking for one face in particular.

Sara wouldn’t be here. He was sure of that because she would assume that chances were good that HE would be here. She knew him far too well; and The Club had been one of their favorite spots to hang out. He had come alone, but of course, he could have any woman (or man) in the place that he wanted, and he knew it. He had turned away a handful of hopeful beauties already that night; which he assumed was the reason “Mr. Talkative” next to him thought that he would have better luck. Reaching up to rub his itchy, bloodshot eyes, his hand froze in mid air as he spotted her across the room. There on the dance floor; wearing his favorite silver-blue sequined dress; the dress that HE had bought for her.   Son-of-a-Bitch!!

His first instinct was to approach her and … fuck… And what? First of all, she would not be happy to see him, hell; he wasn’t all that happy to see her… especially not with another man.   Secondly, they had by all accounts, already said absolutely everything there was to say to each other. There had been no stone unturned; nothing left unspoken.

And still he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. The music had slowed down from the upbeat “Shut Up and Dance with Me” to the sensual tones of Rough Cutt’s “Dressed to Kill”. Her body was undulating seductively in time with the music as the man she danced with matched her every move, hands skimming over her body possessively. Sebastian’s ‘wannabe boyfriend’ suddenly stood to whisper in his ear; which earned him a murderous look that finally got through to him. The younger man nodded and turned to go, then stopped to look back saying, “All you had to do was say so…” before he walked away.

With a derisive snort, Sebastian placed two fingers to his forehead, pressing on the spot right above the bridge of his nose, between his eyebrows; trying to relieve the tension he felt mounting there. Had she seen him? If she _had_ noticed him, would she choose to ignore him? Would she leave the club? And maybe even more pressing, would the “WWE-sized” dude she was dancing with be going with her? God!! How had things gone so wrong between the two of them? A flush of heat spread up his neck as he admitted to himself that it had been 97-98% his fault. Some would correct his accounting, laying 100% of the blame on him. Those people would be about 100% accurate.

Recognizing that the song playing now was going to end shortly, he decided to make a hasty retreat. He motioned to the bartender who quickly moved to see what Seb needed.

“I’m going to step outside for a smoke. Just put whatever I owe you on my tab. I’ll be back a little later.”

Greg, who had worked at that bar for over four years nodded, “I thought you quit smoking!”

“Yeah, I did.”

Grabbing a towel to wipe down the bar top, Greg nodded and smiled in complete understanding.  
  


Keeping to the perimeter of the large dance floor, Sebastian quickly worked his way around to the front exit, and then walked to the alley where several others had gathered to smoke. A couple of them recognized him and struck up an animated conversation. He bummed a couple of cigarettes from them and managed to act interested enough to keep from insulting or hurting anyone’s feelings.

After several minutes and two smokes, he decided it was stupid to try and hide from her. Okay, not from her so much as the inevitable ‘meeting’. They knew a LOT of the same people, visited a lot of the same places and shared a lot of the same interests. Wasn’t that WHY he had been so attracted to her; why they had been so good together right from the beginning? Of course her stunning good looks, wicked sense of humor and the amazing sex they shared could not be totally discredited.

He coughed and crushed out the butt, smacked a couple of the guys on the back and made his escape… back into the lion’s den. He knew he could be setting himself up for an unpleasant scene, but the thoughts of standing close to her, hearing her honey-coated husky voice, maybe even touching her soft skin if only for a second, were more enticing than he would ever freely admit.  
  


Once inside, he headed for the men’s room first, nearly running into Sara as she exited the ladies’ room directly across the hall. He reached out to steady himself by placing his hand on the wall, effectively blocking her way. Dear God!! She was so beautiful! Long blonde hair; killer body; hazel eyes, lips made for kissing and a smile that could bring a man to his knees; with the intelligence and a will strong enough to do it; She was the full package.   Standing there, their bodies mere inches from each other, he breathed in her scent; a soft mix of lilac and plum with the tiniest hint of a “secret spice”. She’d worked with a friend of hers who was an actual perfume ‘chemist’ to come up with her now ‘signature’ perfume.   He remembered the first time she had worn it for him; in fact she had been wearing the perfume and little else…

“Sebastian,” she was staring at him with cool disdain. “If you wouldn’t mind?” she wanted him to move aside. And he knew that he should. He really, really should, but damn it… he didn’t want to. He wanted to slam her against the wall and fuck the…”

“Sebastian please… my friends are waiting.” She was trying to be polite; Always, the proper lady, at least in public.

“Sara, please? Can’t we at least try to be civil?” His emotions were getting the best of him. He was hurt. He was angry. He was jealous. He was sorry. He was ashamed.  And dear God, how he wanted her!

“Civil? This IS civil. Now please, let me by.”

With a defeated sigh, he dropped his arm and made room, “Fine.” He watched her walk away, not even looking back, not even giving a rat’s ass how she had completely destroyed him. She was quickly joined by a couple of her girlfriends, sister Sabrina having bailed earlier with a wicked migraine. He hadn’t even noticed the others were there before now, and they walked together towards the exit. One of her friends, Judy if he remembered correctly, DID turn to look back as they reached the door and quite adeptly offered him her middle finger; the look on her face leaving NO room for doubt about what she thought of him.  Sebastian groaned. Why the hell had he even tried?

On a brighter note; the WWE-sized dancing machine did NOT leave with them. He was now busy hooking up with Mr. Talkative who seemed quite happy with the turn of events.           

  


Out in front of the club, Sara and her friends climbed into a taxi, carefully explaining to the driver where each of them wanted to be dropped off and in which order he should go. They had done this enough times to know which route would cost them the least fare. Not that it really mattered. When Sara, always the last one to arrive home reached her apartment, she would give the driver a healthy tip so he finished his night losing nothing in the end.  

Entering the lobby of the beautifully adorned high-rise building where she lived, she spoke to the doorman, knowing that he was quite smitten with her.

“Good evening Mr. Tyler! How are you on this lovely night?”

“Oh!! Good evening Miss Young!! I’m doing fine! Everything is **_copacetic_**!” He nodded and winked at her, proud that he had been able to use his ‘word of the day’ in a normal conversation.

Smiling brightly at him, Sara pressed the elevator call button and gave him two thumbs up. “Copacetic… I like it!!” She always had a kind word for him, and encouraged him to keep studying… anything he was interested in. Often reminding him that life was too short and there were too many things to learn and experience to just sit still.   The older gentleman blushed furiously and waved at her as she stepped inside the car to ride up the 26 floors to her apartment.

Once inside her place, she kicked off her heels, curling her toes in the plush carpet several times, hoping it would help ward off the cramps she usually felt in her feet after a night of clubbing. As she walked towards her bedroom, she grabbed the hem of her sparkling dress and pulled it up and over her head, leaving her body bare except for her black lace panties. Grabbing a night shirt from the top dresser drawer she pulled it on and stepped into her spa-like bathroom, using her favorite makeup remover, washing her face, adding a touch of moisturizer and then brushing her teeth.

Next, she took her regimen of night time pills with a full glass of water. Stopping to stare at her reflection in the mirror, she fought back the tears that threatened. She closed her eyes and of course all she could see was Sebastian. She wanted to hate him; or at the very least be angry with him. And she had done both at various times in their relationship. It was his fault that they were no longer together. HE was the one who had broken their promise to be faithful to each other, even when times were bad; and times **had** been very, very bad towards the end. But she had never ever been tempted to cheat on him, not with anyone; not since their first magical date; and not when they were having shouting matches a couple of times a week. She had loved him and been true to him and in return he had fucked some sleaze bag, flat-chested, fat assed…

Making herself stop right there, she turned off the bathroom light and went back to the living room to grab her phone and double check that the door was locked. Back in her bedroom she flipped on the television, setting the sleep timer for 30 minutes. Snuggling under the blankets she unlocked her phone to check messages and was greeted by nearly a dozen of them, more than half received from her sister.  


Message #1 “WTF???? Have you seen the photos of you and Seb on Instagram and Tumblr????”

Message #2 “Jesus Sara!! I thought you were finished with him… with that whole scene….” 

Message #4 “What happened??”

Message #7 “Are you ok?”

Message #9 “Sara?”

Message #10 “Call me…”  
  


Her heart pounding, blood rushing to her head, Sara opened up Instagram. At first she didn’t see anything and then…. “Oh dear God!!” Someone had spotted them at The Club, standing in the dark hallway that led to the bathrooms. Sara in her super short sequined dress and Sebastian, his back to the camera, body turned just enough to reveal his unmistakable profile. The photo made it LOOK like they were quite cozy, their bodies almost touching, deep in conversation.

“Shit, shit, SHIT!” How could this have happened? The Club was infamous for weeding out paparazzi and assuring their clients privacy. This was the last thing she expected. She had known that it was going to be difficult to separate her name from Sebastian’s, especially this soon after their break-up a month and ½ earlier, but this? Damn it!  
  


Sara Katherine Young and her sister Sabrina Kay Young were co-owners of SKY Fashion Designs, their own brand of clothing that had exploded onto the scene over a year ago, taking New York by storm. Their second line was set to hit the runway in two days and the last thing they needed was a hailstorm of rumors and innuendos involving Sara and Sebastian Stan. Their profit margin had dropped slightly six weeks ago as the news of their breakup hit the rags and spread across the internet; and had not recovered yet.   She couldn’t even imagine what might happen next.  

Grabbing her phone, she texted Sabrina trying to sound confident: “I’m fine. This was a completely innocent meeting. Nothing happened. I’ll call you tomorrow.”  
  


Laying her phone on the side table, she fluffed her pillows to get comfortable and tried to focus on the television. After a few minutes she reached under the edge of her bed and pulled out one of Sebastian’s shirts. Holding it close to her face, the scent was barely noticeable now, but she could still smell him. Allowing the tears that had threatened since the moment she was alone in the taxi to flow freely; she carefully rolled the shirt up and laid it next to her pillow. It was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Sara and Sabrina had taken the plunge and rented an ‘office space’ of sorts; complete with a secretary/receptionist (Darla) who helped them keep track of their endless appointments with buyers, sales reps, suppliers, interviewers, investors and endless other details. The heart of the place, which was actually a small ‘dolled-up’ warehouse with SKY FASHION DESIGNS adorning the front window; was in the back where they shared a large cubicle for brainstorming, with the rest of the space overflowing with the materials needed to bring their designs together, along with 4 seamstresses and their equipment. People, US Magazine, Entertainment Weekly, and every ‘rag mag’ she had ever heard of; each of them wanting some kind of statement had been trying to reach Sara that morning; only to be stopped in their tracks by Darla. Her response to every one of them was of course, “NO COMMENT”.

_To their credit, as hurtful as the break-up had been, Sebastian, Sara and those closest to them had always been thoughtful and gracious in the comments they_ **had** _made about the situation. Sebastian always contrite, sincere and protective of Sara; who in return was sorrowful and understandably disappointed, yet never once uttered a bad word about Sebastian._  
  


__

Sabrina had shown up at Sara’s place bright and early that morning, hoping to come up with a game plan to get them over, through or around this situation and not put a ding in their show the following night. Darla had been forwarding any ‘important’ calls to Sara’s apartment so that legitimate work could continue.   On the phone now, Bri, as her sister often called her, was talking to a Lord & Taylor rep, who up until last night had been gung ho about featuring their designs in his fall displays.

“Yes Mr. Jacobs…I understand that many of your clients are younger and keenly ‘up’ on all the trends as well as the ‘happenings’ around town. Mmm… I know that they often base their purchases on what their favorite celebs are into. Yes.. yes… What? No… I really don’t know if there is a chance they will get back together. Uh-huh… it was very unfortunate. Yes... Well you know, it could be a very good thing. His fans are by default SKY fans as well. Not that our clothing doesn’t appeal to … right. Absolutely right. Yes of course.   That would be lovely. Thank you… Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day.”

Gritting her teeth as she none too gently tossed her phone on the couch... Sabrina smirked at Sara, and then ran to hug her, seeing the tears sneaking down her cheek.

“Oh God!! Bri, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! None of this is your fault. You can’t help how people think… “

“I know that. But if I had just stayed away from him… never gone out with him that first time…”

“Sara; do you hear yourself right now? You and Sebastian… you were like two storms crashing together in the night. The flashes of electricity were enough to light the whole city. We all saw it. How could you, how could _anyone_ resist that? Give yourself a break.”

“I know… but you warned me. You did and I wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t. Now look where we are.” Sara sighed, her heart breaking over things she should have done differently.

“Listen to me big sister… the heart feels only what it wants to, hears only what it needs to. You loved him and I believe he loved you, I really, really do.”

“Stop.” Sara could almost hear what was coming next. Sabrina HAD warned her to stay away from Sebastian Stan in the beginning. But after a very short while, she had changed her tune; had actually been a factor in keeping them together for as long as they were. She was in her own way, a champion for Sebastian. It had been ‘cute’ for a while, but right now, it was downright irritating. “Don’t you say it Bri… don’t you dare say it.”

A knock on the door brought their conversation to a halt. Wondering why Mr. Tyler hadn’t called up to let them know they had a guest, but feeling certain it must be a friend, Sabrina opened the door without hesitating.

 

It was Sebastian.

 

 

The tension that arrived with him sucked the air right out of the room. Sara was frozen in place, her heart near to bursting. He hadn’t been back to what had once been “their” apartment since the day he had returned from Rome to find his clothes tossed in suitcases and the rest of his stuff in boxes and bags: Sara conveniently nowhere to be found.  She had left a rather brief but explicit note of instructions for him, ending with “Please don’t come back. You are not welcome here.”  

And so, he hadn’t been back. Even though he had wanted to see her desperately and needed to talk to her, to try and explain…he abided by her wishes. He had tried to reach her by phone, text, messenger, Marco Polo; you name it. He didn’t expect her to take him back. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven, he knew that. But he did need to try and make her believe how sorry he was; he wanted to thank her for the time they had shared. It had been some of the happiest days of his life. And now, here he was again, causing her pain, without even trying.  


_***The woman in Rome had meant nothing to him, less than nothing. But of course that was not exactly a glowing reflection on him and his decision to sleep with her. He had willingly spent a whole evening out in public with her, drinking, smoking who knows what and drinking some more. Later they had met up with some of her local friends and gone to a party where the people treated him like one of their own and seemed to want nothing from him. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning and by the time the sun peeked it’s head out and began it’s slow rise in the sky; Sebastian had ended up having sex with her several times and in his drunken stupor, he’d even posed for some photos that would of course show up on the internet within hours._

_He had never been sorrier for anything he had done in his entire life; hurting the person he had loved the most in the worse way possible. Yeah… not his finest hour.***_  
  


“Sebastian….” Sabrina practically hissed at him, “I don’t think it’s a very good idea for you to be here right now.”

He stood just inside the apartment, his eyes having never left Sara, who seemingly had been turned to a pillar of salt. Her eyes were locked on his as well, and she hadn’t even attempted to say a word. Her expression was unreadable and he couldn’t help but hope that was a good sign, all things considered.

“Sabrina, please. Let me help. I’ve seen the pictures and I know tomorrow is really important for you guys and I may have just fucked things up again. I want to help. Please let me try.” His last words were spoken directly to Sara, who was now at least showing signs of life.

“How?” One word was all she said, but it was enough to encourage Sebastian to take several steps further into the apartment.

“I… I was thinking about the rags and how they like to manufacture stories to use against people… and I was wondering how you, we, could make this work in your favor.”

“Okay… and what did you come up with?”

Clearing his throat, Sebastian motioned to the dining table, hoping they could sit and really talk this out.   Sara stared at him coldly, but after a moment, moved to the table and sat across from where he stood; Sabrina took a seat next to her. He sat and looked back and forth between the two of them, taking a deep breath.

“I have an idea… and know you aren’t going to like it at first Sara, but please hear me out. As you know, I have a uniquely vocal and spirited fan base. I suggest we use them. They have already demonstrated that they love your designs. Yes, they can be fickle about some things and at times even brutal, which I have experienced firsthand; but their loyalty and devotion is second to none.” He watched as the sisters looked at each other and then back at him.

“How does this help us?” Sabrina couldn’t even guess where his idea was going, but Sara knew him, knew the way his brain worked and had subconsciously started shaking her head no.

“Sara, you know it could work.”

“What? What could work?” Bri was starting to feel like the third wheel while Sara sighed and crossed her arms on the table, resting her forehead on top of them. As she thought about what Sebastian was saying, he explained it to Sabrina who didn’t know what to think.

Raising her head, Sara spoke softly. “Why? Why would you do this? And how long do you think we would have to keep the charade up? Sebastian… HOW can I trust you?”

He had her full attention now and he knew he had to convince her, but all he could think of was how fragile she looked at the moment; her long hair pulled back and tied with the yellow and blue scarf he had bought for her at a little shop in Georgia, just a few weeks after they had started dating. Good memories.

“I think, if you are willing to give this a try, we would have to keep up appearances for maybe three or four months…. I know, I know that’s a long time. But if I remember correctly how it worked last time, it will take that long for you to make arrangements with your distributors and to get the merchandise to the stores and then really get the line established. And… if it helps you feel better about it, I’ll be back in Georgia filming for at least two of those months… Look, I know as boyfriends go, I sucked. I only want to make up for some of the crap Sara. That’s all I want. So, what do you think?”

“I… I don’t know. It feels wrong Sebastian. We’ll by living a lie, I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Sara, please think about it. It’s not perfect…but it’s all I’ve got and I really believe it might help. All we’ll need to do is hit a few fashion shows together, go out and eat a few times, maybe to a movie premiere or two; just enough to make it look like we are dating again.”

“And you honestly think we can convince people that we are together… just like that?”

He knew what she was talking about. They had been a very hands on kind of couple before, and people would expect at least some of that (which he admitted worked in his behalf). “I understand it may be uncomfortable for you… and I’ll understand if you decide that you just can’t do this. I really think it could be well worth it for your business. But we would need to start the ‘act’ pretty much immediately…”

“Fine. I’ll think about it and let you know first thing tomorrow.”

There it was. The dismissal. He hated it when she did that, and she knew it. Fuck it. He really DID want to help the sisters if he could and he thought this was a plausible idea; but again, she knew him very well… so of course she would know that he wasn’t doing it JUST for SKY. The question was, was she willing to take the risk and open herself up to him again? He was banking on it.  
  


Standing to show himself out, Sebastian was surprised when Sara joined him at the door and stepped out into the hall with him. His heart thudded as she stood close to him, their bodies almost touching. “I don’t trust you. I know you are playing some kind of angle…and you are hoping to get something more out of this than brownie points. I need to talk it over with Sabrina, but you already know that I’ll do it, because time is short and you are my best choice at the moment. Having said that, I honestly do appreciate your offer to help. But don’t think for a minute that I can’t see right through you. I won’t let you hurt me again Sebby. I won’t.”

She left him standing there in the hall and went inside to convince Sara that she would be okay pretending to be Sebastian’s girlfriend again. Sebastian made his way back down to the lobby and waved happily at Mr. Tyler, who was already convinced that the once happy couple was together again. Stepping outside, he exhaled a deep breath, then smiled and whistled softly as he walked to his car.


	4. Chapter 4

 

The following day was a flurry of activity. The sisters spent the morning checking over every aspect that went into a creating a successful fashion show; and then checked them all again, just to be sure. Thanks to Darla, no detail had been missed and it was looking like nothing had been left to chance. They had agreed to ‘finish up’ by 1:00 pm no matter what… so they could spend the rest of the day at the spa being pampered and prepared for that night’s show.

While she was having her nails done, the manicurist asked hesitantly about Sebastian. Trying not to act surprised; Sara smiled shyly and nodded at the woman. “Well, we are seeing each other. We had a long, overdue talk and,” she had to clear her throat as the words tried to stick there, “we agreed that we should give it another try. We are going to take it slow… and I know it won’t be easy, but love never is, right??”

“Oh!! I understand what you mean… and I just want you to know that Seb’s fans, **_your_** fans, are behind you 100%!”

Good LORD!! It seemed that Sebastian had known exactly what he was talking about. She certainly hadn’t expected this kind of response already. As soon as she was able, she grabbed her phone to see what, if anything, people were saying online. And they were saying plenty.   _An inordinate amount of women thought that Sara was doing the right thing by forgiving Seb and taking him back. They could all see how much he loved her…and even though he had made a terrible mistake you could just ‘sense’ how sorry he was and KNEW he would never do anything like that again. Besides, they all agreed, the two of them had been arguing a lot before the break-up and it takes two to argue right? So if Sebastian was willing to apologize, forgive and forget, Sara should too… Somehow in the midst of it all, his fans managed to overlook the pain_ he _had caused and placed the brunt of the situation on her!_

Sara might have been outraged by their impudence if it hadn’t struck her as so damn funny! These were the people that were going to keep the SKY merchandise flying off the shelves and hangers??? She giggled and then almost dropped her phone as it began ringing in her hand. It was Sebastian.

“Hi baby” his casual use of that pet name jarred her into reality, even as the soft rasp of his voice was a welcome sound in her ear. “I know you are probably super busy so I’ll only keep you a minute… I just wanted to… uh… I wanted to see if you are ready for this whole game we are about to play…”

“Sebastian, really? The game, as they say, is afoot! I’ve already been assured by my manicurist that YOUR fans are 100% with us… and have you seen the comments on Twitter?” she couldn’t hold back the giggle.

“Uh, yeah. I read a few of the comments there and on Instagram. I know how crazy it is, but you knew it would be, right?”

Acknowledging that she’d had an idea, but had still been surprised, Sara asked how he was doing. “I’m good. I’m ready for this; and Sara… I really, really hope this helps you and Sabrina. I only want the best for both of you.“   Sara smiled at the way Seb continued to include Sabrina in his thoughts. The two of them really had shared a quirky kind of friendship, which she hadn’t even considered right up until that moment; when she broke up with Seb, in a sense, Sabrina had too. They spoke a little longer then agreed on a time he should pick her up for the night’s show. Obviously, they needed to arrive at the event together, looking for the entire world like a happy couple. Sara had already contacted Darla and asked that she make arrangements for Sebastian to have a seat front and center/side of the runway… an honored position saved for those who were particularly special to the designers.  


As these things do, the big night that had taken months of planning, preparation, development, blood, sweat and tears; came and went without a hitch, here and gone like a leaf in the wind. It had been quite a successful night, SKY Fashion Designs making its mark once again in the competitive industry.   And even as congratulations to Sara and Sabrina filled the air on the success of their new designs, Sara and Sebastian were the ‘second-place’ center of attention. They played their parts to perfection; for all appearances, once again the happy couple, very much in love.

Even in the limo on the way back to Sara’s apartment, Sebastian kept his arm behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder, tracing delicate circles on her skin. The driver could see this display of affection in the rearview mirror and Sebastian knew it, milking it for all it was worth. Sara rested her hand gently on Seb’s thigh, occasionally glancing up at him with a smile and whispered words.

Back at her building, they took the elevator up, smiling happily at the other tenants who had just come in from a night on the town. Once inside her apartment, they both heaved a sigh of relief, dropping to the couch and leaning back to rest their heads against the soft gray leather. As the silence was just beginning to feel uncomfortable, Sebastian started to say something to break the tension, but Sara beat him to it.

“I think we did it….we really did it!” She smiled at him then, a genuine smile that took him completely by surprise. “Thank you Sebastian. You didn’t have to do this and you don’t have to keep on playing this game… I know that. But I… thank you.”

He took her hand in his and held it for several minutes. Their arms and hips and thighs were side by side, touching lightly, the heat of their two bodies combining to create a comfortable warmth that brought to mind more intimate times when their bodies were pressed together, the heat rising between them. “Sara---“Sebastian turned to look into her eyes. She recognized not only the regret, but the desire in his voice and the glimmer in eyes and immediately pulled her hand back.

“No… no.” Standing she looked helplessly at him, her own longing coming to life in ways she had tried to forget that it could. “No.” She walked to the linen closet and pulled out an extra pillow and blanket handing them to him. “They will expect you to spend the night. I’m sorry I … I didn’t think of cleaning the clutter out of the guest room… but I’m sure you remember how comfortable the couch is. Good night Sebastian.”

“Good night Sara,” his eyes followed her as she crossed the floor and slipped inside the room he had shared with her for over a year…wanting nothing more in that moment than to lie next to her and hold her close. “I love you,” he whispered to the empty room. “I still love you.”

 

 

A few nights later, Sebastian escorted Sara out for an evening of fun at the premier of the new Chris Evans action/comedy movie. Three nights later, he surprised her with tickets to the sold out Garth Brooks concert; her heartfelt hug and gentle kiss on his cheek well worth the Herculean effort and favors he’d had to call in to get them. And a couple of nights after that, they were seen holding hands and sharing hot chocolate at a Rangers hockey game; their faces plastered on the giant screen of the scoreboard showing the world a beautiful couple having an awesomely good time.

Sara cleared out and cleaned up the guest room and Sebastian had moved in a suitcase full of clothes and toiletries etc to leave at her apartment. They had come to an agreement that he should stay over at her place on nights they spent out together … and he would stay at his place on their night’s ‘off’.   He didn’t exactly love the idea, but he could see that it made a certain statement; it told the world that they were ‘starting over’ but not jumping back into the same situation they had been in before. This arrangement also left ‘wiggle room’ for their next ‘break up’ to be far less shocking than the real thing was. It seemed very much like something Sara would do, if they really were trying to work things out; which {reality check here}, was exactly what he was hoping for.  


Sebastian had seriously tried to get over the break-up. He acknowledged that it was his fault… No matter how much they had been arguing; no matter how crazy she made him at times; no matter that he was starting to get that ‘trapped’ feeling he always got after a few years with the same girlfriend (although it had always taken longer than the 17 months they had been together); none of that gave him the ‘right’ to blatantly cheat on her, even with what turned out to be a one night stand.   He had awakened from that night of debauchery with a pounding headache and a crushing weight on his chest, realizing where he was and what he done. When he saw the pictures that were posted everywhere, he knew that life as he knew it was over. And it was his own damn fault.

Accepting that there was nothing he could do about it; he had found ways to stay busy. His normal routine had always been quite full and that didn’t change; with work, and photo-shoots, they gym, reading several new scripts, even a couple of appearances on late night tv circuit and a few of the afternoon talk shows trying to smooth out his somewhat smudged reputation. He only went “out” with his closest, most trusted friends and he even thought about asking a very pretty woman he met at his favorite coffee shop if she would like to ‘go out’… _thought about it_ for about two seconds before turning to walk away. He still loved Sara. It was that simple. He hadn’t believed that he had the slightest chance of getting her back, and then the incident at The Club happened and he wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass him by.  
  


Believing that things were progressing fairly well there in New York, as he and Sara had continued their ‘game’ into the fifth week; he was understandably unhappy when he got the call from Georgia telling him that filming had been moved up a few weeks and that they needed him there in just a couple of days.

When Sara got home from the office that day, he was sitting out on the narrow balcony, shirt open, hair a mess and obviously having knocked back a few already.

“Sebastian? Are you okay? Did something happen? …Did we have plans?”

His eyes reflected so much of the pain that he had kept buried inside the past couple of months, she couldn’t stop herself from sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck; waiting for him to tell her what was wrong.

“Yes, I’m okay. Yes, something did happen. No…we didn’t have plans.” The sweet torture of her sharing such honest concern, not to mention the familiar weight of her on his lap was almost too much for him. He felt sure that ‘someone up there’ was having a good laugh at his expense... and then she called him baby.

“Baby, what it is it? Please, tell me.”

Looking into her eyes, he reached up and stroked her hair knowing that she would have to be completely blind not to see his need clearly written there. The sudden look on her face told him that she was not blind at all and as she started to pull away he grabbed her arms.

“Sara… don’t. Please. It… I just need to hold you for a minute…please?”

Knowing that her own willpower had been noticeably waning the last couple of times they were together, she cautiously re-settled herself in his arms and asked again, “What happened?”

When he told her that he would be leaving for Georgia early the day after next, she was a little surprised, but could not understand why that had put him in such a funk.

“What else? I mean, it seems like there should be more to it than that. You knew you would be going pretty soon… what difference does a couple of weeks make?”

Her innocent question cut him to the quick. Heaving a sigh and scrubbing his hand across his face, his response reflected some of the anger and disappointment he felt. “I don’t know. I thought… Fuck. I guess I need to head back to my place and start packing and make a few calls.” He nudged her to get off of his lap and wondering what she had done; Sara asked him if he needed help with anything.

Sebastian snorted and bit his tongue to keep from telling her exactly what he wanted. “Thanks, but, uh… no.”

As he headed toward the door he felt her hand on his arm. “I’ll call you cab. Okay?”

His eyes locked on hers again, but he couldn’t keep them from straying down to her lips. Closing them for a moment he nodded, “Okay. Thanks. I’ll wait downstairs.” With that, he pulled the front door open, and without so much as a glance her way, he left, closing the door loudly behind him. Before he even made it to the elevator, he mumbled to himself, “Fucking brilliant Sebastian. That was real mature and so helpful in this situation.” He thought of going back to apologize, but figured he could only make things worse at this point. He would talk to her later, or tomorrow when he came back to collect his car.

Sara stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed, staring at the door, wondering what on Earth had just happened. It had actually been a pleasant surprise to find Sebastian waiting in her apartment on an evening that they hadn’t made any plans. She knew that ‘technically it was against the rules of their agreement, but still, no one should be surprised that she had not been able to just completely turn off her feelings for him when they had suddenly split up. She had been hurt by his infidelity, his downright betrayal and in those first few minutes, after she had seen the photos, she had hated him. He had apologized to her, pleaded with her, tried in a dozen ways to explain and to make the unthinkable sound less deplorable.

If only she hadn’t loved him so much, trusted him so much, held him in such high regard…maybe the pain wouldn’t have been quite so devastating. She had been so in love with him... more than she would have believed possible; and truth be told, she probably still loved him. She had admitted that much to herself nearly from the start. As time passed and the incident grew dimmer and dimmer in her memory… she had on occasion toyed with the idea of telling him that all was forgiven and inviting him to come “home”.

If she didn’t always have to be so stubborn, she already would have done just that. Sabrina, never one to hold back her opinions had said as much to her just a few days earlier. Moving out to the balcony to gather up the almost empty bottle, the glass he had been drinking from, his ash tray; she looked out over the bustling city that she had come to love so much. It seemed much less alluring as she thought of life there without Sebastian.

They needed to sit down and have a serious, adult conversation. And she didn’t think it could wait until he got back from Atlanta. Maybe she would give him a couple of hours to sober up and calm down. Then, maybe, she would drop by his apartment and see if they could forget the ‘game’ (which hardly felt like a game at all) and honestly try to work things out. That’s it … that’s what she would do. Maybe.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

Sebastian had the taxi stop at the coffee shop just a couple of blocks from his apartment; believing that a hot Grande ‘to go’ and the short walk would help clear his mind. Entering his building he went over it all again, convincing himself that Sara was playing a game of her own. He wasn’t sure what her end game was, and he couldn’t really place the blame on her, since the original farce was HIS idea. But something, something was going on with her. Had to be.   Once inside his apartment, he took a look around and realized that, once again, he had forgotten to request the cleaning service to drop by.  
  


Okay, down to business:  
1) He went to the wet-bar and started to pour himself another drink before remembering that he needed a clear head at the moment and set the bottle down.  
2) He called up his favorite pizza joint and placed a delivery order.  
3) He grabbed a pad and pencil and sat down to make a list or two of the things he needed to pack to take with him and things he HAD to get done tomorrow.    
4) He jotted a few items on each list and …  
5) suddenly found himself blindly staring at the tablet, his mind’s eye filled with the vision of a pair of hauntingly beautiful hazel eyes, delicate nose, lush pink lips and a smile that he would kill for.  
  


“Damn it!!” How the fuck was he supposed to get anything done when Sara was all he could think of? Leaning his head back on the thickly cushioned couch, he closed his eyes, convincing himself that if he allowed a few minutes with her image he could then do what he needed to. He pictured her face again, her thick blonde hair styled in long loose curls that hung down her back; her delicious rounded breasts pressing against the thin fabric of her favorite silk blouse; the feel of her waist under his hands as he lifted her up to sit on the counter top; the warmth between her legs as his hand slipped under her skirt and traveled up the length of her thigh; coming to rest at that precious triangle covered by lacey panties. He could hear the sounds she made as her breath quickened at his touch; then the gasp as he slipped a finger inside her panties and gently rubbed a small circle on the hard nub that he loved the feel of. He could feel her hands run through his hair, her lips kissing him deeply before she reached down to unfasten his belt, unsnap his jeans and tug on the zipper…

Reaching down to release the hardness growing in his trousers he nearly screamed in frustration when the doorbell rang and “Pizza Delivery” was announced on the other side of the door. “Shit, shit, shit!” he whispered loudly as he stood and rearranged himself to answer the door.

“Hey man! How ya doin’ tonight?” A regular to his apartment, the delivery boy smiled brightly at Sebastian.

“Doing okay … how about you?” he tried not to take his frustration out on the boy as he searched for his wallet.   “uh… come on in. I… I’m not sure…” As he looked around the messy room, finally spotting it on the kitchen counter, he sighed and pulled out enough to pay for the pie and a sizeable tip. He figured since he would be in Atlanta for the next several weeks, he could help the kid out with a few extra bucks.

Taking the money eagerly, the boy thanked him and wished him a very good night, before heading out for his next delivery.

“Right. Very-good-night.” Sebastian mumbled before washing his hands and grabbing the box to carry it to the living room, where he sat on the couch and ate several pieces before grabbing his lists and jotting down a few more items as they popped into his head. Once he’d had his fill, he carried the box to the refrigerator, making room for the few left over pieces to eat as breakfast.   Next he went to the bedroom and pulling out his largest suitcase he tossed it on the bed and opened it up to start throwing in a few items, just to get the packing started. Hearing his phone ringing out in the living room he stepped out to see who it was. Mackie!

He hadn’t talked with his old friend for quite some time, so he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and made himself comfortable on the recliner in front of the television. You would have thought they were two old women, the way they cackled and traded gossip with absolutely no shame. (Mackie was courteous enough to stay away from the topic of the ‘infamous pictures in Rome’ and Sebastian was very, very grateful for it.)

 

Around 8:15 Sara stopped by Sebastian’s apartment, just to ‘check up’ on him. Her sister lived in that general vicinity (well, okay within 15 blocks) and she could use her as an excuse if she needed one… She had only been here a couple of times since they had started their little ruse, but Seb had insisted she have a key, ‘just in case’.   Ringing the doorbell, she suddenly felt very unsure of herself. Why WAS she really here? Just to talk, right? All at once she worried that this was not a very good idea. He hadn’t answered yet; perhaps he had decided to turn in early? She could unlock the door and go in to make sure he was even there, but that didn’t seem like a good idea either. Her inner debate continued and she had almost decided to leave when the door swung open; Sebastian standing there with a look of confusion that was, frankly, adorable.

“Sara?” He opened the door wider to allow her entry. “Are you okay?” She slowly stepped inside and took in the total disarray that surrounded her. Shaking his head and offering an apologetic smirk he told her, “Uhhh… sorry about the mess. Please come on in and I’ll clear you a spot.”

Stepping further inside, she turned to smile at him. “Sebastian… what happened here?” A very thoughtful look crossed his face as he tried to think of a reasonable answer. Moving to the dining table Sara began collecting empty food boxes and paper plates and napkins that were piling up there and then carried them to the kitchen to drop in the overflowing waste basket… Sebastian reached out and pulled the full bag out of the can then quickly put a new one in, grimacing at her and nodding as she deposited the items she had gathered. As she started to turn back to collect more trash, he grabbed her upper arm and turned her to face him.

“Sara, stop. What are you doing here?” his voice was husky as he leaned close to her, waiting for an answer.

Her mind froze; unable to form the simplest response. His nearness, the tone of his voice, his simply being there next to her was a lethal combination. She felt the last drop of her resistance to his charms melting away as she peered into his striking blue eyes. With a mind all its own, her hand reached up to touch the thick scruff on his face; closing her eyes, she drank in the familiar sensation, her lips parting in appreciation. Sebastian grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away, asking again, “What are you doing here?”

With a shaky sigh, she snapped out of her temporary lapse of reality and tried to move away, but he wouldn’t allow it. Once again, she lifted her eyes to his where he saw the yearning that she had been trying so hard to hide from him. Grabbing her other wrist, he turned her body around so that her back was toward the wall. Slowly pressing in on her, he walked her backwards until she felt her butt reach the wall just seconds before her wrists did. His hard body came next; covering her and holding there as his lips found hers; hungry, desperate kisses, devouring each other as their mouths and teeth and tongues came together in a battle for possession.   Her hands free now, she buried them in his thick brown hair, as he moved his hands over her body with one stopping midway down her back, the other on her butt, pulling her closer.

His mouth roamed across her jaw and down to the tender skin of her neck as he used his tongue to bring a soft moan from her before slipping his hand up to the top of her blouse, pushing it off her shoulder so he could scatter gentle nips and kisses there. Sara who's arms were now wrapped around his torso, her fingers exploring his muscular back, softly whispered “Sebastian…” and he peered into her eyes as she continued. “I don’t think… I mean …we, we shouldn’t.”   Lifting her up slightly so she could wrap her legs around his waist, he growled, “Yes, baby we should…we really should.”  
  


He carried her to the bedroom, practically throwing the nearly forgotten suitcase across the room in his haste to satisfy both of their needs. As they continued to kiss, hands found their way to various articles of clothing; buttons coming undone, zippers pulled down; a pile of clothes growing on the floor beside the bed as more and more skin became bare and accessible… and yet, Sebastian, found the presence of mind to seek her permission in the most heated of moments, “ok?”   (Of course there was no possible way she could say no, but he DID ask.)   The rest of that night was pretty much wash, rinse & repeat as their bodies, so long denied being together, tried to make up for time lost.  
  


Sometime after 2:00 am Sara wandered out to the kitchen for a glass of juice, but spotted the leftover pizza. Suddenly starving, she grabbed the box to see what it held and if it might be edible. Lifting the lid, she was delighted to find that it was her favorite, pepperoni and it looked and smelled like it was pretty fresh. Sebastian watched her from across the room but couldn’t stop his laugh of amusement.

“It’s safe to eat ... I promise.”

“Join me?” she smiled shyly, realizing that she had grabbed his t-shirt to cover up with and the soft clinging material really didn’t cover much of anything.

“uh.. no…you go ahead. I just came in to see if you are…ok.” He gave her an evil smirk, but somehow managed to look sweet as he did it. Sara graced him with a snort and a look of her own.

Taking one of the pieces of pizza and putting it on a paper plate, she put the box back in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, then moved to the cleared spot at the dining table. Yawning, Sebastian sat next to her with an impish grin.

“Are…are you going to sit there and watch me stuff my face?”

With a silly smile he nodded his head, “Yes.”

Sara pulled off the tip from the bottom of the slice, plopped it into her mouth and savored the delicious taste. “mmmmm… good!”

As she enjoyed the rest of the slice, except the thick crust at the top which Seb was happy to help her with, she grew quieter and quieter. Moving to the sink, she took several sips of water, swishing them around in her mouth and spitting into the sink. It suddenly occurred to her (okay, not suddenly) but it HAD become clear that this night had not turned out the way she had planned _. (Really Sara? Really?_ ) There had been very little actual ‘talking’ and she knew that Seb would be pressed for time the next day; not to mention that she had a few appointments scheduled as well. Maybe they should talk now? Or would that totally ruin the amazing hours they had just shared together? And how did this happen anyway?

 

Deep in thought, Sara didn’t even notice that Sebastian had moved to stand behind her, jumping as he touched her shoulder. He whispered in her ear, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He could feel the magic of the hours just past slowly dissolving, breaking into a thousand tiny pieces that would scatter in the breeze to float away and likely be forgotten by the time the sun rose.   He feathered his fingers up her bare arm as she held on to the edge of the sink. “Okay… what is it? I’m pretty sure you didn’t come here tonight planning on what happened. Let’s hear it.”

Turning to face him, Sara didn’t know what to say. She thought back on the evening, and wondered if they might both be wrong; HAD she planned on things turning out exactly the way they did? As she raised her eyes to his, she saw the defeat there and she felt ashamed. Had she done that to him? “Sebby, no. It’s nothing like that… can we sit and talk for a minute? Please?”

“Yeah, of course.” He led the way to the couch, grabbing a blanket that was slung across the back to cover her bare legs. Once they were settled he surprised her by speaking first. “I want you to know that I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it a thousand times in a thousand ways… but I want you to know it; I need you to believe it. And… Sara, if you can; if you can, please forgive me. I know it’s asking a lot and I don’t deserve it. But I need your forgiveness. Otherwise, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”

Sebastian was laying his heart out there, opening himself up to her, pleading for forgiveness. Her own heart was breaking, a heavy weight crushing her chest. Swallowing hard, she placed her hand lightly on top of his and tried to pull up the words he needed to hear; his self-doubt growing larger the longer her response was in coming.   She felt his hand move as if he would pull it away and heard his whispered, “That’s okay. I understand.”

Tightening her grip on him, she shook her head, “But I do… Sebastian, I did. I forgave you a long time ago; I’ve just been too bullheaded to tell you so.”

“You…what?” His voice cracked and he wondered if he had heard her correctly. “Sara? You forgive me?”

“Yes. I forgive you. It still hurts when I think about it; and I’ll never be able to forget about it, not completely… but I do forgive you. I guess that’s partially what brought me here tonight. I mean, I… at first, I agreed to this little charade with you because I thought it might go a long way in keeping SKY out of the rags and all that… but it wasn’t very long before I had to admit to myself that really, **really,** it was about missing you.”

Stopping to sigh deeply and wipe a couple of errant tears from her cheek, Sara wondered if she was doing the right thing. Confessing these things to Sebastian could turn back on her and bite her on the ass … If she hadn’t been reading him right. If he was just having a momentary lapse, if he was just using her to help his own somewhat battered reputation. Should she admit that she still loved him? Was he so blind that he couldn’t see the truth?

She continued, “I … I was thinking that, we should stop calling this, this thing between us; can we stop pretending it’s a game and really give it a try? I mean, it … it seems to be going smoothly so far. And I… I think... that is, if you even want to. I don’t mean to assume that you … that we…”

Turning her to face him, cupping her chin in his hand, kissing her flustered lips, he spoke softly, “Yes. I want to. Sara I want that more than anything.”

“But Sebby, it has to be different this time. It will be different because _we_ are different. That doesn’t mean it won’t be as good or even better, it just can’t be the way it was before.”

“Maybe that’s not a bad thing.” He gave her a serious look, gently touching her bottom lip with his finger. “If I remember correctly, sometimes, things weren’t always that great before…”

Sara sighed deeply resting her head on his chest. Sebastian wanted to tell her that he loved; that he needed her. He wanted to promise her the world. He wanted to BE the man she deserved. But he knew that sometimes wanting something and doing what it took to get that something, didn’t always work out. And he could feel the void that still separated them… things weren’t quite right, but after tonight, it seemed like they were at least heading in the right direction. They sat there for a long time, side by side, before Sebastian stood and pulled her up into his embrace.

“C’mon… let’s get some sleep.”

Sara nodded and they returned to the bedroom to snuggle together for a few more hours before the new day and their busy lives would tear them apart. Sebastian smiled at the last words she whispered before surrendering to sleep, “You didn’t always suck as a boyfriend…”


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

Four weeks. Sebastian had been in Hot-lanta for four long weeks. His filming schedule had been crazy, with no break in sight. He was having a great time, working with Bruce Willis, Duane Johnson, Zac Efron and Blake Lively on a film that was destined to be a blockbuster.   With lots of action, comedy, drama and even a touch of romance… it was every actor’s dream role. He tried to talk with Sara as often as he could, but his long hours and her busy schedule weren’t making it easy. In fact, they had planned on her flying out to spend the coming weekend with him, but she had just called and apologized profusely… months ago she had promised to host a charity fashion show that Saturday, then had been told that the show was cancelled, only to be notified that morning that it was back on. He knew there was no way she would break her commitment, so he didn’t even ask.  


Later that night, Sara called him again, just as she was climbing into bed.

“Hi Sebby, I was just thinking about you and called to tell you… good night _.” …and_ _I love you… I love you... damn it!_ She wanted to tell him that, she needed to tell him that; but the words stuck in her throat.  


“Hey baby,” he moaned in that sexy, sleepy grumble of his. “Thanks for calling… I love the sound of your voice… and I miss you so much.”

“I miss you to.”

“Yeah? Enough to… oh I don’t know... ummmm… talk dirty to me?”

“What!!??”

“You heard me… whisper some nasty stuff in my ear. No one will ever know.”

“Sebastian!! You….” she giggled and sighed.

“Please baby…. I know you know what to say. Talk dirty to me.” He wouldn’t give up.

“Oh my god!! Stop! I… really I can’t.”

“Pleeeeaaase????” he whined playfully.

“Ohhhh…. Okay.”

Sebastian’s eyes popped wide open. He didn’t think she would actually agree to it!  
  


The phone was quiet for a moment and then the hair on the back of his neck stood on end and goose bumps ran down his arms as she inhaled through her teeth, and then released a slow deliciously HOT sigh.

_“oh… Sebby… mmmmm… you feel so good… and I need you so bad. Please…touch me, yeah right…” a sudden sharp intake of breath, “right there baby…right there. Don’t stop, nonono… don’t stop!” a few more moans of pleasure... then “Oh GOD!! Ohhhhh… Do it baby, do it again… I want…I want to feel you, deep inside me.” She continued on, adding a few well placed moans and groans and a satisfied purr, “You do me SO good… Please, please Sebastian… don’t stop… ohhhhhhhhhh gawwwwd!!”_

“SHIT!!” Sebastian was breathing heavy. “Sara, baby, are you touching yourself?” he practically whimpered.

She bit her bottom lip and held her breath to hold back the laughter… than replied with a breathless, “Yeah, baby… is that ok?”

“Fuuuuuuuck!! Stop…just stop.”

“But… Seb…I haven’t even got to the dirty part yet.” Sara held the phone away, trying to calm herself as her shoulders shook, still fighting back the laughter.

“That’s okay… It’s okay. Woman you’re killing me…You gotta stop.”

“You’re sure? I could go on… and on.”

Clearing his throat, he assured her that he believed she could go much farther than he could and after a few minutes he wished her a good night, then took a long cool shower. Lying on his bed later, he chuckled out loud, realizing she had beaten him at his own game. But still… damn!!  


 

A few nights later, Sabrina and Sara were having a sisterly girl talk over a couple of bottles of their favorite wine. After plenty of giggles and enough small talk, Sabrina tried to get down to the heart of the matter.

“Sara, you don’t seem yourself lately… tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m fine. Sebastian is…” she paused for a moment trying to hide her smile, “Sebastian is great. Business is booming for SKY Fashion Designs. No ugly rumors, threats or serious competition that I know of. What could be bothering me?”

“Need I remind you of just WHOM you are speaking with? I know you Sara, better than you know yourself. Talk to me.”

“Bri, I honestly don’t know what you are going on about!”

“Bullshit! Are you going to make me guess? Because if I have to guess you know where I’m starting… Sebastian Stan.”

Sara sighed and looked away. Her sister DID know her better than anyone…”

After a few seconds she admitted, “Yes... I miss him, okay? I miss him a lot. I didn’t tell you before, but the day before he left, we sort of came to an agreement that we would stop calling our arrangement a game and really try to work things out.”

Sabrina studied her face. “That’s awesome! You know I’m all for it… but there’s something else isn’t there? Did something happen?”

The color was beginning to rise on Sara’s cheeks… “Well, okay, we… we sort of, _really_ , had sex earlier that night and it was SO amazing; like, the best ever, and that’s saying a lot…”

Bri interrupted. “Stop bragging.”

“Right, sorry. Anyway, afterwards... I, I got this weird, anxious feeling. Of course I didn’t say anything to him, but that nagging little feeling has been with me ever since. It worries me. It scares me a little.”

“That can’t be right. The Sara I know, my big sister? She’s not afraid of anything. So what gives?”

“I wish I knew, I really do.”

Reaching for the bottle Sabrina poured herself another glass and started to top off Sara’s glass, but she covered it with her hand. “No… my stomach is a little queasy, I think I’ve had enough.”

“Suit yourself. Now, tell me all about this AMAZING sex…”

Sara burst out laughing then whispered, “Have you ever had phone-sex?” at which point they both squealed with laughter.

 

Another week passed and Sebastian needed a break. He needed some old fashioned rest & relaxation. He needed Sara. He couldn’t remember ever working so hard or putting in so many hours on a film. Not that he was complaining, not really. He had just never realized how pampered they had all been on the Marvel shoots. They put in long hours there too, but not days and days on end… not like this. And it didn’t help that several of his co-stars had their wives or girlfriends there with them. Of course their significant others or whatever weren’t running their own businesses. He was proud of Sara (and Sabrina); he appreciated how hard they worked and the many hours they put in and knew it wasn’t fair of him to keep asking Sara to fly down to Georgia to spend time with him; even though he knew that she actually had been trying to find a way, but hadn’t been able to make it work.

So basically, he was feeling sorry for himself.   He was spending this Saturday a few miles south of where they were filming, because his pal Anthony Mackie was working on his own film project down that way and wanted to hook up and have some beers and a few dozen laughs. It sounded good to Sebastian.

They spent the day and late into the night reminiscing, knocking back the brewskies, telling every joke they knew and in between all the frivolity, Mackie got the scoop on Sara and how wonderful she was and how god awful Sebastian had felt, STILL felt for hurting her, how empty his life had seemed without her and on and on. He listened to the man spill his guts and when it seemed he was finished, he slapped his friend on the back, “So… why don’t you marry her? Seabass... my man, she sounds absolutely perfect for you. And she obviously loves the hell out of you or she wouldn’t have been willing to give you a second chance. Surely you see that?”

With a wry laugh Sebastian admitted that he had considered the ‘M’ word on occasion, even though he had often professed that he didn’t consider himself the marrying kind… and he wasn’t sure that Sara was either. Not that they had ever actually discussed it or that it was out of the question, not at all.

“Well, you know better than I do. But I’m telling you man, don’t fuck around and lose her again. You may not be so lucky next time.”

“Thanks Mackie, I really appreciate your show of confidence in me.”  


Sebastian was joking, but he knew that there was some truth in Anthony’s words. He needed to make some kind of move to cement their relationship, sooner rather than later. He had never given it a lot of thought in those early years, when he was accepting every role that came his way, no matter how shitty it might be, because he knew starting at the bottom was how it worked for most actors. Back then, he never considered where his life would be when he turned 35. Now though, it seemed like he should maybe be a little more settled. He didn’t like that word, it sounded confining, but in so much as it related to having a committed relationship, and maybe a couple of kids and a real home… being ‘settled’ was sounding pretty good.

That night, in the early hours of the morning, he woke in a frantic ball of confusion.   He was lying on the couch in Mackie’s rental and the eerie remnants of a nightmare were clawing at his mind. All he could remember was that Sara was in it; and she was crying. She was crying and calling for him and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get to her…  


At that same moment back in New York, Sara jumped and woke with a start. She felt breathless and that nagging anxious feeling was now a roaring tiger. What the fuck? She sat up and looked around the empty room, trying to calm her breathing. Suddenly a number popped in her mind. 28. 28. 28 days...late? And not that crazy vampire movie. “Oh God. Oh God!!!” Reaching for her phone, she knocked it off of the night stand. Her arms flailing around as she tried to free herself from the blankets that now held her like restraints, finally pulling free to find her phone on the floor. Flipping to the calendar, she looked at the date she had marked to start her next period, and then at that day’s date. “Oh God….” She moaned again.

 

That afternoon she called Sebastian and caught him as he was finishing up lunch with Anthony before heading back to his home away from home. She didn’t know what she wanted to say, she just needed to hear his voice.

“Sara, are you okay? You sound a little… shaky.”

“Oh, yeah… I, I think I’m coming down with a bug of some kind. I’ve been tired and a little puny feeling the past few days. Nothing to worry about.”

“Poor baby… I wish I was home to take care of you. And speaking of coming home, I get a week off starting this coming Thursday!”

“Really?? Oh wow! That is so great!!” Sara tried to sound as excited as she should be, but a wave of nausea hit her hard and she barely made it to the bathroom. Sebastian recognized the sounds she made and when she came back on the line and weakly said, “Sorry,” he insisted she hang up and get herself into bed. “I’ll call back to check on you later, you get some rest, ok?”

Fighting back tears she said, “Ok Sebby. I love you,” hanging up before he could reply.

Her words hung in the air like a whisper of fresh air… she loved him?? He looked at Mackie and smiled.

“What is it Seabass? You look like the cat with canary and all that.”

“That was Sara. She sounds pretty sick.”

“And this, this is what makes you happy?”

“No, of course not!! She said she loves me. For the first time in months, she told me she loves me…”

“Well how about that? It sounds like things are looking up for the Winter Soldier!!”

Nodding and patting his friend on the back Seb smiled, “Yeah, it does. It really does!”

\------------

\------------

 

“Hello?”

“Sabrina!!   Where the hell have you been all day??”

“Well, gee Sara! I must have forgotten that today was your day to watch my comings and goings…. “

“Stop…. This, this is really important! I’m late.”

“You’re late? What does that mean? Late for what?” Sabrina was flipping through several days worth of mail she had just pulled out of her box.

“What do you mean, what do I mean? I’m LATE!”

“Oh … oh God!”

“Exactly.”

“Okay… okay. It doesn’t have to mean anything… how late?”

“THIRTEEN DAYS!!”

“Oh God…”

“I know.”

Silence hung in the air as the sisters tried to think of what to say or do next.

“Okay… You need to get on the phone and make an appointment…”

“I did. I can’t get in until late Tuesday. And Sebastian will be home on Thursday.”

“Oh man. You can’t tell him unless you are absolutely sure about ... about everything.”

“I know. Oh Bri! What am I going to do??”

“Don’t panic. Let’s… let’s get one of those home pregnancy tests ...”

“Don’t you have to do those early in the morning?”

“I don’t know… but let’s do it anyway and see what it says. I’ll grab one and be right over.”

“Okay…. Thank you. At least now I know why I’ve been feeling so...”

“I love you sis. Don’t worry. I’m on my way.”


	7. Chapter 7

 

Sara sat in stunned silence in the doctor’s office, fighting back tears and trying to control her somewhat labored breathing.

“Are, are you sure? I mean, could it be a mistake?”

The doctor smiled at her shaking her head. “Of course it could be a mistake, and we can run the test again if you insist, but honestly, the odds are pretty high that you really are pregnant.”

Sara nodded her understanding, asking “What… what do I do now?”

Dr. Curtis stood and walked around her desk to stand in front of her obviously distraught patient. “Sara… you seem pretty upset by this news, so clearly a baby was not in your plans. Does the father know that you here?”

“No… no, he’s been out of town working for about six weeks. I..he has no idea.”

“I see. Well, you have plenty of time to decide how you want to proceed…but until you do decide, I have vitamins and supplements I want you to start on right away. And I want you to stop taking a couple of the scripts you normally take.”

Dr. Curtis returned to her desk and typed up the prescription orders on her lap top and faxed them to the pharmacy; then jotted down the ones she wanted Sara to stop taking and sent them to a printer at the front of the office.

“Okay, the most important thing I want you to do, is try to relax; your blood pressure is high, even for you. Deep breaths and happy thoughts, ok? This is not the end of the world. In fact, it could be the beginning of something wonderful. _Look_ for the good and you just may find it.”

Sara stood; taking several pamphlets and the other info Dr. Curtis pulled from drawers and handed to her. The older woman, who had known Sara since she was a young girl reached out to hug her.

“If you have any questions or need anything, call me. I’m going to send Mary in to take another blood pressure reading and then you’ll be free to go. I’ll see you back here in a few weeks.”

Attempting a smile, Sara thanked her and as she left the office, the pounding in her ears was echoing the pounding in her chest. She needed some fresh air… and a coke… and Sebastian.   


Sebastian. What was he going to think about all of this? She knew how he felt about marriage. Would he think she did this on purpose, to try and coerce him into marrying her? No. He had a cynical streak about half a mile wide when it came to trusting people; a fact that only those closest to him actually knew… but even at that, Sara didn’t think he would believe that was true.   Okay, so nobody is saying they have to get married… but what would he say about the baby? THEIR baby?   
  


On the first floor of the medical tower there was a gift shop of sorts that offered the usual fare of stuffed animals, cards, magazines, small floral arrangements etc. along with candies and bottled sodas.   Desperate for a Coke, but thinking of Baby Stan and hoping that it would be healthier; she grabbed a bottle of flavored sparkling water.   As she waited in line to pay, her attention was drawn to a batch of magazines that were in a bundle on the floor, ready to put on display.

A sudden rush of anger and embarrassment washed over her as she recognized herself and an acquaintance of hers; a man she had gone out with a handful of times and hadn’t even thought of since that first date with Sebastian. This was obviously an older photo, (at least it was obvious to HER) but it had been edited and enhanced to make it look new; to make it look like she was seeing this man, while Sebastian was away filming. The headline screamed, “ **Sara & Seb - Romance Fizzles While Re-boot With Attorney Sizzles**”.

Grabbing one of the magazines, she paid for it and her drink and left the shop as quickly as she could. Looking around she saw a sign pointing to the nearest ladies room where she rushed in and proceeded to throw up what little there was in her stomach. Thankfully she was alone as she shakily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth out; dab the sweat forming on her brow and pinch her cheeks to bring back at least some color.

Once she made it to her car, she pulled the magazine from the bag and flipped through the pages. It was a total load of shit… not one word of the story, with comments provided by a “trusted anonymous source _”, not one word_ of it was true! Who would do this, and why?? Her phone rang and she knew it was Sabrina.

-

 

Sebastian had gone out for a late lunch and on his way back to the set he stopped at a local market to grab a couple of things. As he made his way down the aisles to find what he needed, he couldn’t help but notice the stares and whispers he was getting. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to the attention; he got that all the time… but this was different. When one young girl approached him he thought she would ask for an autograph or a photo, but instead she asked if she could give him a hug.

He smiled and spread his arms to give her a quick squeeze. When she looked up at him with tears in her eyes, he assured her that everything was okay and she held up her phone to show him the photos that were now spreading like wildfire on the internet. Gulping back the inappropriate response that came to mind, he patted her on the shoulder and shook his head, “You can’t believe everything you read.” He smiled at her and quickly exited the store, leaving his basket behind.

Driving the rest of the short distance to the set, he went the back way around and straight to his trailer. Inside, he pulled out his phone and with shaky fingers he opened up Instagram, then twitter, then tumblr and no matter where he turned… there was Sara’s face staring up at some guy that wasn’t him, each of them appearing completely enamored with the other.

So angry he couldn’t even think straight Sebastian took several deep breaths, trying to convince himself that it was some kind of mistake. Sara would not do this, he was sure of that… wasn’t he? She, she had just told him she loved him… just asked him if they could really work things out and make another go of it… He didn’t understand; had that all been a lie? Had she been playing him all along, just waiting for a chance to pay him back for what he had done to her? Could he blame her if that was true?

His phone rang and when he saw that it was Sara, he sent her to voicemail. He couldn’t talk to her right now. He needed to know what happened, but he didn’t trust himself not to say something stupid and hurtful at the moment. She left a short voice message, and then a text:

 

_“Sebastian - please don’t believe what you are seeing. Those are old pictures, photo-shopped to look new.  
I haven’t even talked to Spencer for months. Please tell me you believe me. Please._

_I love you. Sara”_  
  


Right, Spencer… the lawyer she had met via an article for People Magazine that had featured the two of them along with a couple of other ‘up-and-comers’… Sebastian waited an hour before finally responding to her text:  
  


_“Hey… it’s crazy here. Don’t worry. We’ll talk later. S.”_   
  


Sebastian knew that he should have said more. He knew he should have assured her that he believed her. Deep down inside he DID. At least he wanted to. He still felt guilty about his infidelity and a tiny, tiny part of him felt that he deserved the same. That was crazy thinking of course; just his own insecurities fighting hard to trip him up; to lead him to do or say something stupid. He knew this to be true, but that single grain of doubt would not be quieted.

Gawwwwd!!! It felt like an eternity since they had last been together. His body ached for her; longed to feel her warmth, to touch her smooth, soft skin; to hold her in his arms; to cover her body with his own… to hear her whisper those 3 words in his ear.

If he was half the man that she thought he was, that she deserved, he would call her right now. He would tell her that he believed her; that he trusted her; that he loved her… so what was stopping him?

 

When Sara received his reply she stood frozen, reading the words over and over again. What? What did his abruptness mean? Was he angry? Was he really that busy? Did he not believe her?   The thought that he was ignoring her for whatever reason, cut her to the quick. She was hurt, she needed to hear his voice, his soft words of assurance; she needed him to be there for her. A band of worry and stress wrapped tightly around her chest and threatened to take her breath away.

A sudden knock at the door roused her from her thoughts. Thinking it would be Sabrina, she opened up to see Spencer Kirkland standing there. He was an extremely handsome man, charming when he chose to be and a cut throat attorney in the court room, when necessary.

 

“Sara,” he smiled at her and she invited him in, gratefully allowing him to pull her into his strong arms, holding her close.   The craziness of the day that had at one point seemed unbearable suddenly boiled up to overflowing and she let it go… the tears falling freely. As one of his hands held her close to his body, the other caressed the back of her head while he whispered words of comfort. That was the scene that greeted Sabrina as she pushed the partially open front door wider and walked in on them.

“Fuck a duck Sara!! What the holy hell is going on here? Has the whole world gone crazy? Have YOU gone crazy?

The last person on Earth that Sara expected to turn on her was Sabrina. The tears that she had just begun to get under control let loose and flowed again. As Spencer gaped at her in surprise, Sabrina realized what she had just done and ran to Sara, throwing her arms around her, apologizing and telling her everything was going to be alright.   


Once the situation calmed down, Spencer explained why he was there. The photos had been brought to his attention and as a highly respected attorney whose business depended in huge part upon his good reputation, he was not about to let the lies go on uninhibited. He had already taken legal steps to obtain the identity of the person who supplied the photos to the magazine and to have the social media venues block the photo whenever and wherever it appeared on their sites.

Sara excused herself to wash her face and Sabrina took that opportunity to apologize to Spencer; trying to explain why she had overreacted the way she had, without giving away too much info.

“I understand. She is your sister and you are just looking out for her, same as I am. We didn’t date very long, but it doesn’t _take_ very long to realize how special she is. I don’t appreciate someone using me to hurt her. Anyway that’s what I assume this whole mess is about… someone wants to keep her and Sebastian apart?”

Sabrina and Sara who had just stepped back into the room, both gave him the oddest look; and then looked at each other in disbelief. It couldn’t be that, could it? They had assumed that it had something to do with SKY… that someone, a competitor, was trying to sabotage their success in the fashion industry. But this? This was crazy stupid, and yet in a sick, childish way it made perfect sense!

“Listen, I don’t want the two of you to worry. I sent out a couple of tweets earlier that should put the fear of God into whoever is behind all of this. It shouldn’t take long to draw them out of the woodwork.”

The three of them visited for a few more minutes and then Sabrina excused herself to go out and take care of some business. When Sara asked her if she could help, she was told that she should spend the rest of the day taking it easy. Hating to admit that she could really use the time to recover from the day’s craziness, but feeling as if it would be the best thing to do, she hugged her sister good bye. Spencer stayed about 15 minutes longer, just catching up and again, assuring her that he would take care of the photos and the rumors, and with a final hug he left as well.   Within ten minutes, Sara was curled up on the couch sleeping.

 

Sebastian saw the tweets that Spencer had posted when several of his friends had called him on it. They were sternly worded with several very official sounding warnings infused with legal terms that made it clear that Spencer was angry as hell, not only for himself, but on Sara’s behalf as well. Sebastian smiled and thought that maybe, he would like this man.    

When his phone rang and he saw that it was Sabrina, he answered right away.

“Sebastian? I don’t know what is going through that gorgeous head of yours, but we need to talk.”

“Hey Bri, I was wondering when you would be calling. I know I’ve been an asshole today, and I was just getting ready to call your sister. How pissed with me is she?”

“Seb, this goes beyond being pissed. Look, I know you love her… at least I’ve always believed that. Things are really crazy here and getting more complicated by the minute. Sara needs you. She really needs your support. She needs you here. Are you coming home? I mean really coming home?”

Understanding what she meant he sighed, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot the past few days. Really thinking about Sara and me and our relationship and although I’m pretty sure that the phrase “smooth sailing” is never going to be one that will describe us, I can’t picture my life without her in it. If I have learned anything over these past few months it’s that she makes me a better person. And I’m hoping that she is willing to take a chance with me…”

“Seb? Are… are you talking about putting a ring on her finger? I thought that wasn’t your ‘thing’.”

“I thought that too, but I’m seeing things a little differently these days. In fact, I have been working out a plan in my mind, but I could really use your help; if you are willing.” They spent the next 20 minutes putting their heads together and came up with what they hoped was just what Sara needed. And somehow, as tempted as she had been to tell Seb about the baby, Sabrina managed to keep it to herself. It wasn’t her news to share.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Sebastian called Sara that night, apologizing for dodging her earlier in the day, admitting that the whole ‘Spencer’ thing had thrown him for a loop and how he had spent the day doing a whole lot of soul searching. He expressed again, how bad he still felt about the pain he had caused her and how often he wished that they could step back in time and do some things differently. They had a really good talk, and by the end of it they both felt so much better about things; especially Sara as Seb had admitted how he felt about her.

“I love you Sara; with all my heart, I love you. I know I haven’t been doing very well telling you or showing you how much. But I promise, I’ll get better, if you’ll let me.”

“I love you too Sebastian, but you know that. I’m sorry all of this stuff has been happening. I do have some other news for you… but, I think it can wait until you get home. Can I pick you up at the airport tomorrow?”

Taking a deep breath, he told her the story that he and Sabrina had worked up and she seemed to accept it with no doubts or suspicion.

 

When Sabrina called early on Thursday morning, asking Sara if she would mind taking care of a client visit that she had scheduled for lunch that day but needed to bail on it because something else had come up, Sara happily accepted the opportunity. She’d had a good night’s sleep and felt much better after her talk with Sebastian. She knew she couldn’t just lie around and worry about things or what was going to happen next… she needed to stay busy; stay focused and trust that it was going to work out for the best. The fact that she hadn’t even thought of puking that morning was a big plus as well.

Of course, Sebastian was due to get home late that afternoon, and she knew that she couldn’t put off telling him about the baby… but she hadn’t yet decided how to even broach the topic. Hopefully, something would come to her before she saw him later.   And so, part two of the plan was set in motion. Sara would be out and away from the apartment all afternoon while Sabrina took it over and put part three of the plan in motion. So far so good!  
  


Stopping by the office to pick up the files she would need to take with her on the ‘client visit’ Sara felt truly blessed by her ‘staff’ of friends. Darla and each of the employees spoke with her individually, assuring her that they supported her no matter what happened, and that they were sure that Mr. Kirkland would get it all straightened out. It happened to be the birthday of the newest seamstress; and there were donuts and bagels to be shared. Joining them; Sara ate half of a bagel with cream cheese and then cut a chocolate crème filled long john in half, taking it to her office where she went over the file. It appeared to be a fairly straight-forward contract and she couldn’t imagine what part of it needed to be re-worked, but it should be a pretty simple fix.  


Meanwhile, Sabrina had gone to one of her friends who was renowned for her special events set-ups. She told Carol the mood that Sebastian had envisioned and after answering a few questions and looking at several sample photos, they agreed on the colors and décor; with plans to meet at 2:00 to set it all up. She called the client that Sara was visiting, who also happened to be a good friend of hers and asked him to please keep her sister tied up for as long as possible, without being too obvious. He was happy to oblige. Next, she stopped by one of her favorite specialty food shops and ordered up a “sample platter” of finger sandwiches, a scrumptious looking fruit bowl, several delicate petit fours and a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne to be delivered at the apartment at 4:00. The timing on all of this was going to be tricky, but that was where Sebastian came in; it was his job to keep Sara away from the apartment until 5:00.

 

**_Later that day:_**  


When Ben Haskell ran out of excuses to hold Sara at his offices, he called Sabrina, who in turn got in touch with Sebastian, who immediately called Sara.

“Hey gorgeous… I know this is out of the blue and I told you that I had it covered, but I’m hoping you can break away and come pick me up?”

“Hi!!” she was hit by a wave of happiness to hear his voice, so much so, that he could hear the tears in her voice when she answered, “Yes… I sure can. Let me give Bri a call to let her know my change in plans and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Sara, baby… are you okay?” He spoke softly, his voice full of concern.

She shook her head; amazed at how her raging hormones were making her even more of an emotional wreck than usual, and laughing she assured him that she was fine. She was just happy that he was home and that they would be together soon. They made arrangements where to meet and then she called Sabrina, who was anxiously waiting for her call.

“That sounds great! Do you think you can stop by the office before you and Seb head off to do… whatever you plan on doing tonight and talk with Darla for a minute? She has ‘something’ she wants us to take a look at and you know how she is. She won’t be able to sleep if there is one detail left undone before she goes home. I would do it, but I’m still tied up and don’t know when I’ll get out of here.”

“Sure, that’s no problem… Bri… I’m going to tell him tonight, about the baby, I mean. You know I have to… but I’m afraid.”

“Sweetie, don’t drive yourself crazy with worry; doctor’s orders, remember? Besides, Sebastian is a good man and he loves you so much... I do recommend that you break it to him gently though, not with the first words out of your mouth…”

Sara actually giggled at that. “Yeah, ya think?! I was planning on easing it into the conversation later; you know what I mean... MUCH later…”

“Ohhh, you bad girl. That’s exactly what I would do!! No really though, allow yourself a couple of hours to get reacquainted, and then drop the bomb. I’ll be waiting by the phone to hear how it goes.”

“Okay, thanks sis… I love you.”  


Next, Sabrina called Darla to make sure things were going as planned at the office. She was making good time decorating with Carol; the rooms were looking exactly the way she had pictured, if not better. Tiny lights attached to the drapes and various areas in the living room, a delicately hued shiny gauze cloth to cover the small table where she would set up the food when it arrived; candles spread around the room and flowers here there with petals that led to the bedroom where the real masterpiece awaited them.

It was almost like a fairy tale; more lights, amber this time, attached to the sheers that covered the blinds, a few more lights attached to a fica tree that sat near the headboard. The blanket on Sara’s bed was oversized and hung to the floor on both sides, so lights were draped around the entire bed on the edges of the blanket. There were a couple of clusters of sheer gold colored balloons rising from the floor, flanking both sides of the bed. They had glitter coating their insides and they sparkled in the most alluring way as the amber glow from the tiny lights reflected off of them. Topped off with several large pillar candles situated in the small fireplace in the room and it was one of the most romantic things Bri had ever seen… oh yeah, this was going to be good!!

 

Sebastian spotted Sara and not for the first time, was startled by her graceful beauty. She was very pretty, no one would argue that, but he had always seen something more than her perfect features… there was something about her that was so delicate, almost ethereal. Why had he never told her that? He knew she would tell him he was being a silly romantic, but he also knew she would love hearing it.

Practically running to meet him, Sara wrapped her arms around him, kissing him with excitement.

“Whooaa!! Did somebody actually miss me?!!” he teased.

“Oh God, Sebastian! I _have_ missed you so much!”

“I know doll, I missed you too. Every minute of every day I missed you.”

Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him smiling and then started to speak before she was nearly knocked on her butt by a group of over-zealous fans who wanted to get photos with Sebastian. He looked at her and she could see the anger behind his smile as he posed for several photos before putting his arm around her and leading the way out to the car.

Taking the shotgun position as they got into Sara’s car, his phone buzzed with a message from Sabrina:

_“Things are moving right along, even a little ahead of schedule. The place will be all yours by 5:00, no problem…. Have Fun!!”_

Sebastian nodded to himself.

“Everything okay?” Sara asked as she pulled away from the curb and got in the lane to exit the parking lot.

“Couldn’t be better,” he reached over to turn the radio on, found the perfect station and they both sang along as they set sail on the highway.   It was already a quarter to four, so he only needed to keep her busy for a little more than an hour. They made a brief stop at a convenience store; Sara had started feeling a little queasy and needed something to help settle her stomach. She ran to the ladies room first, then grabbed a 7-UP while Sebastian settled for a sparkling water.

Back on the road she told him that she needed to make another stop at the office and see Darla for just a few minutes…

“No problem babe. Whatever you need to do, I’m along for the ride.” He took her hand and leaned closer so he could press it to his lips. He loved the way she giggled and gave him a quick glance that promised good things to come that night.

When they arrived at the SKY Fashion Design ‘warehouse’, nobody was home. They entered the building using a side door, and so it took them a while to find the note taped on the front door. Written in Darla’s unmistakable print, it read: “Be Right Back”. Sebastian rolled his eyes like ‘oh well,’ and they sat in the back at the desk, passing the time getting caught up on Seb’s movie that he was finishing up and the ones he had lined up next. After twenty minutes or so, Sara’s phone rang. It was Sabrina.

“Sara!! Oh my gosh! Darla called me about 25 minutes ago to let me know that she had something important come up and that she had left a note that she would be back, but it turns out she won’t be able to come back after all. I just remembered that I sent you over there!! I am so sorry. There must be something in the water making us all so forgetful and crazy… what do you think???”

Laughing, all she could do was agree as she motioned to Seb that they could close up the store and head out. Seb drove that final stretch to her apartment, not knowing quite what to expect to find when they got there, but hoping that it was as special as he wanted to be. He wanted to sweep Sara off her feet…

With her keys still in his hand Sebastian stopped before opening the door, touching Sara’s face, kissing her tenderly and then ran a finger down her cheek and hugged her close for a moment.

The door swing open and urging Sara to enter first, they stepped into Wonder Land. He heard the sharp intake of her breath as she looked around in disbelief. First her mouth gaped open in surprise and then she raised her hand to cover it as she tried to take it all in. She felt Sebastian walk up behind, his hands running down her arms before he whispered in her ear, “Do you like it?”

She tried to answer him, turning to look into his keen eyes; but she could only squeak out “Oh my god!” before the tears started.

He held her close for a moment before raising her chin to look at her tearstained face. “Baby, please stop. Don’t cry!! I did this, with Bri’s help of course, to make you happy! I’ve missed your smile so much…” He handed her a Kleenex and she laughed, wiping the tears away. They both ooohed and awwwed over the delicacies on the table; and all the special little touches spread throughout the room.

Sara noticed the light trail of petals leading to the bedroom and she gave him a curious look. Raising his eyebrows, Seb suggested they take a look. After a cautious peek around door, Sara put both hands to her face, shaking her head. Seb pushed the door open wide and even he couldn’t hold back the gasp of approval. It was perfect.

Finding her voice at last Sara asked, “How?? How did…? Oh Sebastian!! It’s amazing! But.. it’s YOUR homecoming!! Why all of this??”

Pulling her into his arms, his eyes studying her face, he tenderly pressed his lips to hers.   As gentle as he was, Sara could feel the pent up desire, the heat rising between them. Sebastian relinquished his possession of her lips and growled in her ear, “This is for US Sara. I have everything I want, as long as I have you.” Looking into her bright hazel eyes he went on, “If you aren’t here waiting for me, then ‘coming home’ doesn’t mean anything. I love you Sara, and I want you to feel that, to feel safe, to know that I will always be the one you can trust. I want to make you smile every single day for the rest of our lives.”

“Sebastian… I, I don’t … I…” It took Sebastian a moment to realize that Sara wasn’t speechless; she was in fact, BREATHLESS…

He immediately sat her on the edge of the bed, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons on her blouse and sitting next to her, he braced his arm behind her, talking softly “Sara… breathe… in through the nose… out through your mouth. Deep breath in… then out. I’m right here baby…you’re fine. Just breathe.” She followed his example, breathing along with him as he demonstrated and once she seemed to be relaxing a bit, he ran to the refrigerator and grabbed a Coke, pouring some in a glass he took it to her, “Here ya go. Good old caffeine…”

Sara drank it down and asked for a little more. When Seb came back, he sat next to her again; stroking the back of her head and down her back. They had done this before. Her heart condition was something that she had lived with for many years and something that he had learned to accept. Mostly, it was controlled by the meds she took, but once in a while, it flared up to remind everyone that it was still there.

After just a little while, Sara sighed deeply and assured him that she was feeling much better. She looked around the room again, taking in every detail, smiling at him, her eyes shining. “Sebby, thank you for this. I truly can’t begin to tell you how special it makes me feel. I love it all. And I love you so much. I'm just sorry I ruined the mood…”

He laughed and teased, “Oh baby, its okay. It wouldn’t be 'us' if something unplanned didn’t happen… “

Taking his hand in hers she nodded and bit her lip, gathering her courage.

“Sebastian, I have something to tell you.   I don’t know if this is the right time or not, but somehow it **feels** right and …” afraid she would lose her nerve she simply spit it out, “I’m pregnant.”

Sebastian couldn’t have been more surprised if a troupe of little green men dressed in yellow tights and bright pink tutus had just marched into the room singing “Uptown Funk” while dancing the Paso Doble. Sara watched as the expressions on his face ran a gamut of emotions, finally settling somewhere between surprise and extreme nausea.

He sat silently for several moments before finally whispering, “Pregnant? You, we are going to have a baby?”

Sara nodded, unable to tell what he was thinking, and very much afraid he would be upset, unhappy, and uninterested in raising a child; when suddenly he did the last thing she expected, he smiled the biggest, brightest, happiest Sebastian Stan smile she had ever seen. Pulling her up from the bed he took her in his arms and twirled her around and then held her close again.

“So… you aren’t upset with me?” she asked breathlessly.

“Upset with you? No! I’m … I’m beyond happy! Aren’t you?”

For the first time, she thought about it without worrying over the details. The fact that she and Sebastian were going to have a baby; that they would be connected for the rest of their lives, no matter what happened; it was quite frankly, overwhelming.

“Yes of course I’m happy… I just wasn’t sure how you would feel. It is somewhat unexpected.”

He chuckled, “Well… I guess your surprise tops mine, unless…” he reached in his pocket and brought out a pink plastic ring with huge clear plastic diamond on the top. He hadn’t had time to stop at a jeweler. Kneeling down on one knee, he held it up to her and asked, “Sara Katherine Young, will you marry me?”

With eyes twinkling and a smirk on her face she nodded, “Yes, yes I will marry you.” She giggled as he placed the ring on her finger, and then kissed her passionately. Pulling away he suddenly looked concerned…. “I, uh, you do know I’m serious, right? … Sara… will you marry me?”

Staring up at him she knew… she knew that this, all of this stuff that had been making a mess of their lives for the past months had led to this very moment; this was how it was supposed to be. Fighting back the emotions that threatened to overtake her, she whispered, “Yes. Sebastian… yes!! I love you and I want to be your wife. I WILL marry you!”

They kissed again, his lips covering hers with unbridled passion, his tongue pressing, demanding entry, plunging into her mouth and devouring her. Picking her up, he walked the few steps to the side of the bed, sitting her down, pushing her gently onto her back; he lay beside her, his hand roaming over her body while she felt the heat of desire rising from her very core. He sat back for a moment; just long enough to remove her blouse and jeans; along with his own. He kissed her lips, her neck, the swell of her breasts rising above her bra, making his way down to her tummy. His lips stopped there as he turned his head to place his ear there.

“How long until we... until we can feel it?”

“uh…. I uh, I don’t really know!   A while, I think.”

He nodded and placed his lips a few inches below her belly button. “Hey little guy… it’s your papa. I’m here... I’ll always be here for you; I want you to know that. Your mama and I, we’re new at this baby stuff, but we love you already. Don’t ever doubt it… we love you.”

Touched by his sweet words, Sara ran her fingers through his hair. “I love you Sebastian Stan.”

From his position on the bed, he looked up at her with an evil grin, running his tongue across her skin showing just above her panties. Without warning, he deftly hooked his fingers on either side and slipped them down over her hips past her knees and off to the floor in one easy motion. Kissing the inside of her knee, his lips traveled back up the inside of her thigh stopping at the light spray of hair that crowned her most sensitive spot; he nudged her legs apart, drawing a gasp of anticipation from her.

Taking a moment to look into her eyes he teased, “Who knows? If you’re a good girl, I may even replace that ring on your finger with a better one. And all you have to do is talk dirty to me.”

Sara groaned, then squealed with laughter as he tickled her in all the right places; quickly replacing her laughter with moans of pleasure, he made love to her that night like he had never done before. Things were different now. They were different now. Life was good.


	9. Epilouge

 

 

“Are you nervous?” he asked her for about the 100th time… that day.

“Yes, Sebastian, I AM nervous. YOU are making me nervous.”

With an anxious sigh, Sebastian rose from his chair and paced down the hallway over and again. Sabrina reached out and touched Sara’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze and smiling at her sister with a slight nod.  
  


_***Things hadn’t quite worked out the way they that had imagined they would. Sebastian and Sara were married in a very small, private ceremony mere weeks after he proposed to her. They gathered in a tiny church in the Ozark Mountains, attended by Sabrina and Anthony Mackie, with guests that included Sebastian’s mother, Sara’s mother and a couple of dozen others. There were no unexpected interruptions and no paparazzi in attendance. Sara’s dress was a lovely, lacey, flowing creation that her sister designed for her, while Seb wore the traditional tux with a dusty pink rose boutonniere that matched the pink and white floral arrangements.  It was a perfect day and even more perfect night of celebration afterwards. Sara felt certain that she would have the happily ever after that all little girls dream of.  
_

_Four weeks later, Sebastian was awakened in the middle of the night by Sara’s screams of pain and distress… she was bleeding profusely and in that first moment, he knew that they were losing their baby. He almost lost Sara too, but with diligent, talented doctors, her life was spared and for that he was eternally grateful.  
_

_Dark days followed; his grief stricken wife was at times inconsolable and at others, eerily quiet. He needed to leave her for a couple of weeks to film the final scenes of his latest move. He didn’t want to go; didn’t want to leave her on her own, but she convinced him that she would be fine and in the end, he did make the trip, although he worried about her constantly.  
_

_After several months, he approached Sara with an idea. He had long been a supporter of Romanian charitable organizations, one of which provided placement of orphans into forever families.   He wasn’t sure how she would react to the suggestion, but had been pleasantly surprised by her eagerness to look into the possibility of adopting a child from his native home.***_  
  


After months and months of jumping through administrative and legal hoops; along with half a dozen visits to the orphanage, today was the day. They were taking their children home with them. Yes, children. Sara was so touched by the tragic story of a young woman who had given birth to the twins, she knew in her heart they were meant to be hers... both of them.   Sebastian had turned several shades of gray when she told him her desire to take them both, but he recovered quickly and agreed that it was the right thing to do.

When the nurses brought the children out, they reached for their new parents, having already grown to love them during their multiple visits. Holding their son and daughter close, they introduced Aunt Sabrina and Grand-Mama Georgeta and soon the whole group of them were climbing onboard the private jet that “Uncle RDJ” had arranged for their transportation.

Arriving home tired but happier than they could ever have imagined, they were surprised again by a huge gathering of family and friends who wanted to welcome the children into their fold. It was a magical day full of love and laughter. That night, as they were finally able to rest their heads on their pillows, Sara looked into her husband’s amazing blue eyes and whispered, “Thank you Sebastian. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for standing by me and supporting me in the worst of times… and thank you for this… thank you for making my dreams come true.”

Seb wiped a tear from his eye and said, “Thank you for believing in me and giving me the chance. I love you Sara, and I swear to keep making your dreams come true, for as long as you let me.”

She grinned at him, “Forever then…”

He nodded and squeezed her tight, “Forever…”

 

The End.

 

 


End file.
